One Hit and a Part of my Soul Dies..... This picture is copyrighted to Artist Virtualisis on renderosity. Please stop by and tell her what an amazing job she did with this picture using a photo and poser combo you can click on the link below to see her gallery. Virtualisis's Gallery MY RECURRING NIGHTMARE/DREAM FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS OF MY MARRIAGE By Holly Newhouse-Guidry Written on August 30,2005 after awaking from my same nightmare Richard brought me flowers today. It was so wonderful of him to do so, I tried to remember if this was a holiday, anniversary, i knew it wasn't my birthday We had another bad argument last night he called me every name in the book, so many cruel things came out of his mouth So many things he said hurt so bad deep down inside He gave me flowers today, so, I know he is really sorry and did not mean to hurt me Richard gave me flowers again today Funny, that he did, this is no special day that i know of Last night...he threw me into a wall....he choked me until i became unconcious I had to call in sick to work today.... I did not want them to see the marks on my neck they will start asking questions again and he will just get more angry I tried to convince myself that it was just a really bad nightmare but, you see, you wake up from nightmares, warm in your bed you know that they are not real... I touch my bruises on the outside, they hurt like hell so, now I know this is no nightmare, reality slaps me in the face again today But, really its ok, it was my fault the dishes weren't done on time I made him do it, it wasn't his fault, not really... I know he's sorry because he gave me roses today I got roses today, two days before Valentine's day they were white roses, now I feel special he is on his knees and crying for my forgiveness he promises it will never happen again for awhile now, he will treat me like the queen of england Yet, Last night, he threw me over the bannister and down the stairs He was trying to kill me, for disobeying him again I try so hard to do things right, the way he likes me to Makeup and long sleeved turtlenecked shirts did not hit the bruises and broken bones this time I called into work again, I dont want anyone to see me like this I feel so ashamed, they will just blame me too, he is right about that They will make fun of me and pity me that is much more than I can take But, i know he is sorry because he sent flowers to our home today He is so thoughtful and sweet, if i could just do better everything would be ok, he would not need to punish me anymore Today was no special day, and yet once again he sent me blood red roses Last night, he beat me again I just keep messing up everything I guess he is right, I am a terrible mother and a terrible wife Today, I will pray for god to kill me, to take me away from all of this pain maybe, god has forsaken me too and wants me punished If I try to fight to stay alive, what will I do? How will I take care of my three babies on my own? What will I do for money? I am terrified of him and am too scared to leave him? But, he must be sorry.....he sent me flowers once again I got flowers today.... It was a very special day today... Today, is the day of my funeral...... Yesterday, He killed me as I got in the way of the bullet intended for my baby son If I would have only gathered the tremendous strength and courage that lied deep inside me within my soul to leave him once and for all now, my poor babies will be forced to suffer Please...God...let Mama and Daddy get custody of them please help me keep them alive, I dont want to see my babies here in heaven before they have even had a chance to live So....I got flowers today.....from...Richard...for the very last time.... This poem is also dedicated to all of the victims of Domestic Violence who were killed by a spouse or signifigant other to all of the children who had no choice in this life God Bless You All, as long as i live, as long as my children live your lives will never be forgotten....