TRISTAN'S NIGHTMARE~~ THAT HE WAKES UP FROM AT NIGHT Note: this is not a true story, this did not happen, it is a nightmare that Tristan and Brady used to have Yet, for some children in Domestic Violence, this is not a nightmare that you wake warm in your bed from, this is a sad reality. This is dedicated to all of the beautiful children of God who have been true victims of Domestic Violence and are now at peace in heaven with our Saviour, Jesus Christ. Tristan Guidry Survivor of August 9, 2005 Shooting My name is Tristan I am but three years old My eyes are swollen I no longer can see I must be stupid I must be bad What else could have made my daddy so mad at me I wish I were better I wish I weren't so ugly Then, maybe my Mommy would not cry for me you see, she crys for me late at night when she thinks I can't hear her, but, I can I can't speak at all nor do I dare to cry around daddy or else, while mommy is at work, Daddy will lock me up, all day long When I wake in the night screaming I feel so all alone The house is dark and all are asleep Please, mommy come and comfort me Please, god, don't let it be Daddy Oh, thank you god, its Mommy She lays down beside me, tells me its ok I try to go back to sleep I hear a loud sound, oh no, Jesus help me Daddy is home from gambling and drinking at the bar Mommy hears it too as she is now tensing up She tells me to pretend to sleep now I hear Daddy trip on a toy I hear him curse God dammit, Tristan I am gonna kill you the next time you leave a damn toy out, I will burn it I crawl and press myself between my bed and the wall I try to hide so hard from his evil eyes I am so afraid now for me and mommy I start to softly cry in my bedroom Oh, Jesus help me, I hear him climbing the stairs to my room I hear mommy tell him to leave me alone Then, I hear him throw my Mommy down the stairs, screaming all at once she is too quiet Daddy finds me crying out loud now I want my Mommy... He shouts ugly words at me He says it's all my fault that he has trouble at work He tells me he wishes I had never been born He slaps my little face and then, he hits me then, he yells at me some more I finally break free and run for the door But, Daddy's already shut the door on me I hear mommy crying now as she makes it slowly up the stairs She crying for Daddy to stop hurting me I start to outright bawl uncontrollably He takes me and throws me hard against the hard wall I fall to the floor, with all my little bones nearly broken and yet, my Daddy continues with saying more bad words at me. "I'm Sorry Daddy!!, I scream at him I hear Mommy's loving voice in the background she's terrified and yet she is really angry now She is really angry at Daddy, as she tries to stand on broken legs to stop him from hurting me But, oh nooooo It's now far too late Daddy's face is filled with unimaginable hate for me Here comes the hurt and pain, again and again Oh, Jesus, please come and help me... please Jesus have mercy.... Please, Jesus, just let it end... and Daddy finally stops... the last thing i see is my Mommy's face over me she is crying uncontrollably I am lying motionless in my Mommy's arms... the last thing I hear is my Mommy saying "Baby, I love you, Baby, I am so sorry, please forgive me I should have gotten up here faster" crys my Mommy... As I stand by my Mommy holding Jesus's hand "I forgive you Mommy, you did your best to try to save me... I have to go with Jesus now Mommy, I will wait in heaven for you My name is Tristan... I am but, three years old Tonight, my Daddy murdered me..... ***This poem came about in my mind from recurring nightmares Tristan and Brady would wake up screaming with. Even today, every night, my poor Baby Tristan wakes up screaming "Noooooo, Daddddy, Nooooo Kill Me!" Every night I rush up to his room like lightning to comfort him, to reassure him to help him to understand, Daddy will never again try to kill him that he is forever safe now, that Daddy will have to go through me first That Daddy is gone forever on a long trip in his truck There is nothing more painful, than watching your blind, brain damaged three year old baby having flashbacks and nightmares of getting shot and almost killed by his own Daddy.